Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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