discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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