she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
