I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize