there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
