he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
