Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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