it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize