everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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