thus making me awesome and them whores
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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