Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
