Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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