I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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