It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
