I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
