I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
