PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
