I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
