you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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