My girlfriend figured out who you are.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
