please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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