i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
