I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need to calm my uterus...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
