people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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