remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize