Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize