This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
