not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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