Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
