Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
