is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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