yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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