Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
