you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
