i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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