Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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