Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
