i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize