We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize