I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
