im drinking this country out of the recession.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
