Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
