If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
