Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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