There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Shame - the story of my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
