What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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