Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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