I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Will exercising make me less horny?
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