Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize