Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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