literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize