The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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