I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
