let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
third nipple confirmed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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