I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
