guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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