I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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