i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
